Some blips and clips of a woman living out of her comfort zone, confronting anxiety each day
Sunshine and Rainbows
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Artists Soj and Lyd
We've been watching lots of My Little Pony via youtube. Anyways, it's nice. Lots of colors and sunshine and ponies who are best friends. It's a nice trip to the land of Equestria where Friendship is Magic!
Here's a challenge. What do we own? I'm not against ownership. I AM against greed. Sometimes it feels difficult to tell the difference, especially in between cultures. What is privacy and what is friendly and what is discretion? In the Philippines, we stay in a three-room apartment. Many of our neighbors and people on the street can see us if we go outside our door. And people live within inches of each of our four walls. We live very close to our neighbors, some who are suspicious of us. Some of whom I feel suspicious. I have been robbed by men 6 times, by a woman once. Two times, the hold-up involved a handgun. So, I get nervous. Challenge accepted. Two neighbors came to an apartment party. One house received a hello cake from the Stevensons. Now I have to think of a safe, cultural appropriate way to deal with the two young men who drink cocktails directly below my back balcony and watch me do laundry. As a white Americana, I get uncomfortable being watched. Well gues...
What a strange change of pace-- having to limit contact and take life slower. It is a challenge for me. I find myself working away a sewing or writing project and then sitting up suddenly. Who is there for me to interact with? My reinforcers, it turns out, are mostly socially-mediated. I want to interact a couple times in an hour in what my husband refers to as "chit chat." I love the light conversation about nothing and everything. I like to watch other people as they talk. I like learning about others as they share or don't. I like being with people. But I do realize that I don't really listen to myself. Having to be alone more has forced me to try to know me more. To be my own companion. This is new and difficult. But it is important. For those around the world, facing hardship today, I send my love and I do pray for peace and goodness to prevail in all communities. Selah.
Family Tree "Mom, what's the name of your Pappy? The one who called everyone silly names?" "Pappy Roy." "Oh. What are the name of your other grandparents? What were they like?" public domain from www.jessicacrabtree.com The kids and I had a long discussion about my grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles today. I did my best to give a short story about each person. Was it wrong that I told them the truth about Farmer Ken? (My paternal grandfather) Not a nice guy. Grouchy. I felt so sad as I was recounting how he was never loving or kind. He was surly or silent. I must note that once he let me light his pipe. Perhaps the nicest thing he ever did. Sometimes he would let us watch Nickelodeon, a special treat since we didn't have that at home. But overall, a life marked by a frown. One that I drew next to his name on the roughly sketched tree I drew for the kids. I had so many good stories about Pappy Roy. I felt so hap...