Rachel Writes

Depression is a strange experience. A strange haze to live in. Wikipedia defines depression as a mental disorder characterized by a pervasive and persistent low mood that is accompanied by low self-esteem and by a loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities. Nadia Bolz-Weber calls her depression Francis, the terrible roommate who wouldn't leave until Wellbutron showed up. For me, depression is a chain-smoking, verbally abusive 60's fashion plate standing in the corner of my mind criticizing everything. And other time she manifests as a  fog pressing down. I'm here again. It's been years since I've last waded through this. And for that I am so grateful. I'm not as scared this time around. Just ready to get back to the work of healing. In another state of mind, I can realize that healing can be granted (Help my unbelief!), but for now, I will continue the steps to fight the demon that I do not want to live with. I exercise, ...

Anyone up for a game of UNO?     TAD: These pictures are good for my soul. Taddy is a beautiful boy. He wakes up rolling, kicking and punching. His spirit is awesome-- big and bold. And sometimes I feel tired being with him (or being tackled by him). We're working through that-- his energy and my lack thereof. What this means for our interaction. ME: I'm back to exercising in the morning. Having 10 or so minutes of reflection. And then entering the day. I will start seeing a counselor next week to deal with reoccurring anxiety attacks and some physical symptoms of depression (sore muscles, confusion, and high anxiety). Having weathered this before, I'm not afraid and very hopeful. (when I'm not in the middle of an anxiety storm) I'm coaching basketball 2 afternoons for kinder and first grade. I love it! SOJ: Sojo loves school and I'm so happy for her. Lately her ears have bothered her, so that was really concerning me. But she's on al...